It’s fucking gay and it’s fucking stupid. If you don’t know, twittering is some kind of a status update system that will update your status in terms of what you are doing or your status, across Facebook and other applications which have the “your status” or “What are you doing right now” field.

I don’t give a fuck if you just took a nap, or if you are sleepy at the moment and are about to take a nap, or if you just had sushi, or if you just went shopping, or if you just fucked my sister (which i don’t have, conveniently enough). I don’t give a fuck if you just went for a nice drive (maybe I’ll care if you say you bought a brand new Mercedez or something like that), I don’t give a fuck if you just came back from a day of skiing.

Unless you can keep your twittering to valid and interesting information (such as “just saw the newest edition of the iPhone - check it out!”), please shut the fuck up cause I don’t care about the smallest details of your lives.

What’s next? “I just sat down in my toilet.” -> “I just took a big dump and it stinks.” -> “I ran out of toilet paper.”

Well I won’t be the one there to give you a fresh roll of toilet paper, I’ll just hope that out of the scramble and panic you’ll drop your fucking iPhone in the toilet so that you can’t twitter anymore.

I came across this Facebook ad that was rather interesting - a high-end student housing offering in a central area of Montreal. I clicked it to check it out. It was quite fancy alright, although the apartments were 4 or 5 bedrooms - I don’t think I can handle that many roommates. The living rooms were clean and well-furnished, and the location seemed alright even though I know nothing about Montreal.

And then a banner caught my attention - it started with “Win a free lease and..” or something like that. I waited for the banner to keep scrolling, and here’s what I saw:

Yes, you can win a TV.. and not just a regular TV, you can win a COLOUR TV!!! And even better, it’s spelt “colour” with the extra U, the French (or the original) way to spell it, in accordance to the spirit of Montreal. The last time I saw a colour TV was about 4 hours ago… it seems like yesterday however. Wait, it was yesterday, since it’s 2AM as I’m writing this. Those things are so rare these days, that I had to venture all the way out to my own living room to spot one.

Honestly, we live in an era where a Black & White TV would probably sell for more than most colour TVs due to its antique factor, as a collector item. I can’t believe somebody actually decided “we should specify that it is a color TV, in case somebody thinks we’re giving away a B/W tv set.”

So. Anybody want a fancy dancy colour TV? Go to the 515 Ste. Catherine rental website and check it out! It’s a chance of your lifetime.

I was going through my regular Facebook routine today and an ad caught my attention. Facebook has been running Facebook Ads for a while now, a PPC type of ad system throughout the Facebook platform, geared towards certain demographic of users and what not.

Anyhow, here’s the screencap of the Ad :

I don’t know what kind of data entry workers work in such environment… What exactly are they entering, into what? That is my question.

Anyhow, if any data entry position had the amenities flashed in the above ad, I would like a position there.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washingtonchemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Not too long ago the new mascots for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games was released, and a lot of people were appalled at the childish and overly cute design that sort of resembles some kind of a Japanese cartoon, while others loved the cuddly and cute design of these critters. And some even unveiled other worse Olympic logos in the past that are actually much worse than the 2010 Logos.

Apparantly, a local Vancouver designer had better ideas for the mascots. As you can see he obviously was not happy with the mascots, so he decided to put his own spin in it. No, I didn’t do this - a friend of mine did and does not want to disclose his identity.

Mascot Bio’s 

CROTCH

A former member of the Sasquatch Five, Crotchi was kicked out of the band because he could not play his guitar with only one hand on his instrument. Crotchi used to be a black Sasquatch but with recent treatment he is slowly turning white. Crotchi loves to cuddle children and often has them over to his cave for exciting sleepovers.

SUEMI

Suemi always wanted to be prime minister but could not make it through law school. Later he got a degree from a mail order college in the U.S and has spent the last ten years looking for someone to sue.  His current target is a large worldwide sports organization that Suemi claims has stolen his identity and violated his copyright.

SHOOTMI

Shootmi, an ex military/ ex police officer is currently a greeter at Walmart.  He used to be a greeter at a large international airport but was fired  for being overly enthusiastic.  His hobbies include magic, and putting the tazer on people, although he sometimes gets carried away. He can often be seen walking the sea wall with his significant other and little pal UKFUK.

1. You can buy a nice high-rise condo in downtown Vancouver, mortgage free.
2. You can buy 3 Lamborghinis with that (depending on model and price, but I found one brand new at 133,xxx GPB).
   
3. At the current stock value, you can get over 1,500 shares of Google. (Right now, $515.49)
   
4. Or. You can get this ugly ass logo.
   

Look at it. That’s the official logo for the London 2012 Olympic Games, as revealed on Monday. Since its revelation, here are the results :

• 50,000+ have signed an online petition to scrap it.
• It’s been condemned as “hideous” by the public and politicians, and even the Mayer of London Ken Livingstone said he wouldn’t have paid for such a thing.
• Several members of the British Parliament signed a motion to ditch the design.
• To add, the campaign video contained too much flashing of light, which has already caused 23 reported case of seizures (epileptic).

Yes, $800,000 or so in Canadian dollars can go quite a far way…

While a lot of the PayPerPost items force you to be postive about a product in order to qualify for the payout, Review Me does not ask for that. You can be completely honest with any kind of reviews for anybody, and I found one that made me laugh at the end.

Who did this? None other than a fellow blogger, and also my client (one of the bigger accounts!), John Chow!

He was asked to serve up a review for this scam of a pyramid scheme, and he cleanly exposes the dark sides of it - about how ONLY the guy who owns the website will leech off your efforts while chances are you won’t get any back!

This review is a MUST-READ, just so you can read the last sentence on John’s review - and I won’t reveal it here! Read for yourself about this scam!