Two Type of Mac Users - Mac Users vs iFags
“…They would have sex with a Mac if it were possible… It’s a fucking computer. Do you see me telling you that Macs are not as good? … if you think it’s wrong for me to tell you to eat sushi instead of pizza because it’s simply better, don’t tell me Macs are better than my PC.”
Mac users can be categorized into 2!!! broad categories.
- Mac Users - Those who understand that picking a computer is a personal choice based on preference and style of work. These people are rational, intelligent, and respect other’s choices, and understand that every OS has its pros and cons. Gary Lee is one of these people. He’s a Mac fan, but when I told him about my bad Mac experience and how I ended up returning it, he just understood. He didn’t try to preach me into using it.
- Mac-Thumping Assholes, aka iFags - Those who religiously follow the Mac trend with a blind faith, as if it was a cult, and a demi-God of some sort that they NEED to defend against the evil doings of Windows and Bill Gates.
These guys can be worse than religious cults.
They love Macs regardless, consider every single feature of a Mac to be superior to other computers, even the shortcomings. Rather than telling them why you do not like a Mac, you may as well spit in their faces and then grope their mothers, sisters, or girlfriends (if any).
They would have sex with a Mac if it were possible, and they probably kiss it every night and day.They will masturbate towards the photo of Steve Jobs holding a Mac (or an iPhone or an iPod), and they will probably buy a Mac-shaped pillow to hug when they go to sleep, and they probably don’t get laid very often.
Take a look at this great link about obsessive iFags.
It’s a fucking computer. Do you see me telling you that Macs are not as good? Do you see me pointing at you going “Should have bought a Windows XP PC!!!”, or excitedly narrating why Windows XP is better than OSX? No, I don’t. I personally prefer Windows XP, that’s all.
I’ve been using computers since they were first introduced to the public, more or less. I’ve grown up in the country where high-speed internet penetration ratio was (and probably is still) #1 in the world. I know what I want in a computer, and I know what I’m doing. I don’t need some jackass Mac-thumping son-of-a-bitch, like this guy, to email me and rag on me, after reading my post about why I returned my Mac.
Christian Sinai [scrtwrld@aol.com]
If it took you 2 days to load software, maybe you should have invested in more than the standard 1GB memory.
Happy computing.
He needs to get a life. He’s some loser who decided to email me after reading my post about my failed Mac quest. You may be asking “Well, Jeff, you’re the one who wrote a blog post that’s about 20 times longer than his email…” Well, that’s because it’s an interesting topic for my blog, it does good for my Adsense revenues and traffic, and most of all, I get to publicly humiliate that insolent bastard.
Here are sample dialogues between me and a Mac User, and an iFag.
Jeff : “Well, I definitely don’t like how even the 17 inch model doesn’t have a full keypad… Toshibas and HPs have it.”
Mac User : “Yeah I know eh? I wonder if they’ll put it in next time.”
iFag : “Well, Macs are all about conserving space. It’s so much thinner than a Windows machine, has so much more goodies in it already that they don’t have room to put it. It’s still better than a PC.”
Jeff : “I’m not sure if I like the whole drag-and-drop to install things and do all the stuff… I was fine with right-clicking and choosing my action. It’s faster for me that way.”
Mac User : “Ahh you’re a right clicker eh? That can be frustrating, yes.”
iFag : “Dude, it’s so much easier to do it that way. You just drag and drop. What’s so hard about it? It makes more sense. It just works. It’s better than a PC.”
Jeff : “This Mac feels slow when running Illustrator.”
Mac User : “Probably because it’s running on Rosetta. They are coming up with CS3, which offers full running support on a Mac soon though.”
iFag : “There must be something wrong with your machine. Maybe there’s a clash. Perhaps re-install it? It can’t be. The same ghz CPU on a Mac should out-perform a PC for sure!!!”
Jeff : “How come it only has 2 USB ports? I need more than that… ”
Mac User : “It’s probably too slim to have more USB ports… I know, it’s a pain in the ass to hook it up to USB hubs eh?”
iFag : “Once again, Macs are about good slim design that works well. They don’t have room for it. If they put more stuff in it would get bigger and thicker and just won’t be a Mac. Besides, USB hubs are standard these days. Why don’t you use that dude? Just get one!!!”
Jeff : “This doesn’t have a memory-card reader in it. Toshibas and HPs and Sonys all have it on the laptop body!”
Mac User : “Oh. That sucks.. you’re right.”
iFag : … need I repeat this line again? “Size.. compactness.. design.. efficiency.. blah blah blah.. I had sex with my Mac last night don’t insult it.. blah blah blah.”
The next guy that comes along trying to tell me that my personal choice of computers is wrong, I will smash a Macbook over the guy’s head. Let’s see how tough the titanium casing on Macbooks really are, eh?
I’m not saying Macs suck. I’m not saying PCs are better than Macs. All I’m saying is that, if you think it’s wrong for me to tell you to eat sushi instead of pizza because it’s simply better, don’t tell me Macs are better than my PC.
Disclaimer : This article is not by any means intended to criticize macs, or PCs. It is not intended to discuss the pros and cons of a mac vs. PC, but more intended to point out the lack of understanding between people. Also, the term iFag is not intended to be a homophobic element at all. I have gay friends (and I’m straight), and I live in Vancouver - an open minded city. Some people have taken offense to it, but the term Fag, over here, doesn’t have to be a homophobic element - it just sounds really catch with the i in front of it, that’s all. To PC users - This is not intended to discourage you from trying a Mac - it has some great features that PCs lack completely, and you might love it, who knows?
Haha funny post Jeff..
I wonder who will be the first iFag to reply to this with a damaged ego!!! LOL
Here are some answeres from myself as a “mac User” and to clear this up, i bought a mac for what it is, a great, stable machine with nice styling and an advanced operating system. I personally liek how every thing flows together in the “ilfe” bundle. The operating system si also very nice on the eyes. Those are my reasons for buying a mac. u either like it or u don’t. I don’t really care. but here are the answeres to your questions above.
Congratulations, you’re the first person to totally misunderstand the whole point of this post.
This is not about the features of a mac, or whether macs are better or not.
But all in all, you proved my point about how obsessive mac users can get. This article went straight over your head didn’t it?
I simply answered the questions you posted in the origional topic. how is that mis understanding?
Those are not questions. They are hypothetical dialogues I made to prove my point as part of this comical piece.
This is like you trying to correct Jay Leno on his jokes with statistics and facts.
“Daaaamnn!! Jeff, what the fuck man?? You use to be cool! I love my Mac and it does have it’s own special panties for sexy time. Dan and Jennifer gots nothing on us!” - General IFag
That’s the general quote of an IFag somewhere. haha
Just kidding, only an IFag would single out another breed and bitch em out for doing things different, right Jeff?
Some people just always got to defend the underdog, like IFags with their Macs. Oh well.
Anyway, Jeff what are you working on for Chow?? Just a hint or something good buddy! haha
I’ll tell you in a few days when I have a prototype up!
Oh, and your motion lines with the IFag that indicate thumping are awesome.
Coming from digg—
Anyway, what’s with all the hostility? You’re right, we are talking about computers here, so there shouldn’t really be any reason to get upset, especially when people are pointing out that you only tried out the Mac for a few days. That’s not really enough time to become familiar with a new OS. I use a Macbook Pro because I like using Unix-y systems and got tired of trying to get linux to run a laptop and dislike using Windows on my personal machines. Moving from linux to os x is a significant change and moving from windows, even more so. It takes most people, especially power users, some time to unlearn and then relearn all of those tricks and shortcuts that you’re used to, so if you’re not willing to make that effort, (and you clearly wern’t) then you shouldn’t bother. In any case, to answer your questions:
Keyboard: I hate every laptop keyboard I’ve ever had and use a real keyboard at home and at work. The same goes for most trackpads and those fucking trackbuttons that IBM and Toshiba like. The Macbook Pro trackpad is nice, but still not as useful as my 5 button trackball.
Drag-n-drop: Just one of the ways that OS X is different from Windows. Most OS X apps are packages, meaning that the app icon is really a folder that contains all of the executable stuff. Some apps install stuff into the /Users/You/Library folder, but for the most part, they are self-contained and can be placed anywhere, not just /Applications. Although, I’m not quite sure how D-n-D takes more time or is more complicated than running a Windows wizard.
Illustrator (Photoshop, etc) is slow: That’s because those are PPC apps running under emulation on the Intel chips. As far as performance hits go, you should try using Virtual PC and then compare that to Rosetta. Too bad you missed the Photoshop CS3 beta, its a screamer.
2USB ports: YMVV. I use daisy-chained USB hubs, so I only ever need 1 port at home or work. Other than that, I think I wanted to plug in more than 2 devices maybe twice, but that’s just me.
Card reader: You’ld think Apple would include one, considering the whole creative professional thing, so you got me there. I have a cheap-ass USB -SD card adaptor in a thumb drive form factor. I’ve also seen an express card 7 in 1 reader for ~$30, so its not an insurmountable problem, just an unnecessarily annoying one.
I’m not saying that you should run back and get a Mac, just that you should have done some basic research before jumping into a new OS, and going off on your rant. You’re clearly more comfortable using Windows and have to realize that OS X is very different. And as far as quality control goes, I’ve had 2 bad Toshibas, a bad Vaio and all sorts of bad hardware on my towers. Sometimes shit happens, the real test is how a vendor deals with it, and I’ve had good experiences with Apple. One last thing: Macbook Pros (and most Powerbooks) are made from aluminum, not titanium. I would suggest some wikipedia reading for you.
I agree with you completely, this is what i have been trying to tell jeff for a long time. You need to have the patience, time and willingness to learn if want to go to mac os x. It’s a huge change but once you finally adapt to it it is a much more productive system.
Once again, paul, COMPLETELY missed the point of this article. You only proved my point for me and for everybody else.
What’s with the gay bashing. Is that really necessary? I’m sure you meant for this post to be humorous, but honestly is the homophobia and hatred really necessary? Like you said, “it’s a f**king computer…” Get over it.
the term iFag was not intended to be homophobic.. if you must know, I have gay friends, and even a gay roommate and I’m comfortable.
I openly used the term partly because I’m so desensitized to homophobia - I live in Vancouver. May as well be Mini San-Fran!
Sorry about that James.. My humble apologies.
Thanks for your apology and for putting up the disclaimer. I still disagree with your word choice and think it is unprofessional, but that’s why the world has blogs…to be able to express opinions.
I gotta admit, iFag is much more catchy than iJerk, and it just arouses more attention and interest.. it’s a marketing ploy to increase my blog traffic.
Controversy sells
Way to stick to your principles, James…
Jeff:
You don’t get to use the “I’ve got gay friends” line as an excuse for using an offensive slur. (I’m not even sure it would be fair if you were gay, but then at least as a straight guy I’d have to defer to you under the rules of oppressed group right-of-way.)
But given that you’re not gay, your use of that word to drive traffic to your site is incredibly unprofessional and offensive to a lot of people. To put this into language you’ll understand: it won’t help you in the business world. Nobody in their right mind is going to hire a guy that they know throws around that word unless they really enjoy lawsuits.
Controversy sells. It’s just a term and more of a joke. It’s not the end of the world nor something I should be lectured for.
BTW I bought a Macbook Pro. The new Leopard system made the transitions worth while but I still keep Windows XP running on my Mac.
I really don’t care what you buy. I have a PC, a Mac and a linux machine, and I can honestly tell you that they all suck in their own unique way.
I didn’t mention what I did because I expect you to care about being offensive to some or as a reprimand. That’s why I mentioned the business angle. But you should take me at my word that you are hurting yourself, blog traffic notwithstanding. In this day and age, anybody in the business world with half a brain distances themselves from people who use slurs like they were radioactive. And just saying “I have gay friends” in red type at the bottom won’t allay their fears.
Choose: notoriety or respectability.
boohoo! Somebody said “fag”, and I’m offended. I’m so offended that I’m going to write the author and make sure that he knows how offended I am, and that he should apologize to me because I am so self important that I deserve an apology. If you don’t like someone’s usage of a WORD, stop reading. Don’t scold them just because their sensibilities about what is and isn’t offensive happens to differ from yours.
Jeff, great article. From an IT perspective, I’m preferrential to PC’s, but we have and support a few macs. Computers suck, PC or Mac. Remember, “A fanatic is a man who consciously over compensates a secret doubt.†-Winston Churchill
Brad,
It’s a very small-minded person that thinks words don’t matter, and a very immature and stupid one that thinks bigotry is simply a matter of an arbitrary “sensibility.” I wasn’t actually offended personally, but I did feel the need to point out that he crossed the line by using a bigoted word for gay people to make fun of Mac zealots. Anyway, Brad, since you don’t mind words, you won’t mind if I call you a foolish asshole, will you? Your silly relativism is incredibly childish, about what one would expect from a freshman in highschool, not a grown man in the work force. Do you realize you just spent your time writing in support of a guy using the word ‘fag’? That’s somehow better than me writing in objection to it?
Brad, the only dumb thing I’ve done here is bother to respond to a moron like you.
Jonathan,
You can call me a foolish asshole if you like. I prefer to think of myself as the common man that is tired of being lectured to by the vocal minority, simply because I’m not offended by the word “Fag”. It’s funny that you use the term “bigotry” in the same paragraph that you call me a moron, since you don’t actually seem to know what the term means. The literal definition of Bigotry is a “stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.” So, following the literal definition, wouldn’t you be the bigot in pointing out that Jeff’s use of the word “fag” offends you? And I suppose that pointing out a specific example of your ignorance would actually make you the “moron”. The point that I was trying to convey is that some people may find the term “Fag” offensive. Some, myself included, don’t. What I took issue with is that you felt the need to attempt to correct the author in such a scolding tone. What makes you such an authority on what is and isn’t offensive that you feel the need, or the right, to tell anyone that they are wrong? This isn’t “Jonathan’s Blog of Political Correctness and other Self-Important Bullshit”. If you don’t like what you’ve read, STOP READING. This is the Internet. If you spend 5 seconds responding to everything you find offensive, I’m pretty sure you’re going to miss out on alot of what’s going on around you.
I tried not to resort to name calling, but I just wanted you to know that you sound like a crybaby. And a whiny bitch.
Brad, you’re spot on with the “all computers suck equally”
in fact. http://blog.jeffkee.com/2008/01/29/all-computers-suck-equally/ is a post I wrote about how I actually feel all computers are the same at the end of the day.
You know, I can’t always be politically correct and always use the proper terms - this blog would be as boring as CNN.
I still defend my choice to use the word iFag instead of something less intriguing as iJerk or iAsshole, or iFanatic.
P.S. There are starving kids in Africa. Somebody using the word fag should be the least of your concerns, especially when it’s just for the sake of a funny ring rather than homophobia or discrimination. If I called a gay person a fag that’d be different.
You used the word Jerk. I am offended. I also live in my mom’s basement, and spend all my time playing “World of Warcraft”.
Shit, there I go generalizing again.
Brad,
Here’s the definition I find: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.
I suppose if you want to classify dumb people as a group, then yes, I am bigoted towards you. You also miss a crucial word in your own definition: ANY. I’m not intolerant of any ideas different from my own, just ones that are so ignorant as to be easily dismissed.
It’s a cheap shot to say I’m just being politically correct. I dislike PC bullshit as much as anybody. PC is when you can’t even have a rational debate about whether or not gay people should be allowed to adopt you don’t want to offend them by even bringing it up. I agree that’s bullshit. But using the word ‘fag’ doesn’t make you some brave iconoclastic anti-PC warrior, or whatever self aggrandizing image you have of yourself. It just makes you a meanspirited asshole.
Johnathan,
You are clearly focusing too much on the word “fag”. For the same of argument, lets say I found the word “peaches” to be personally offensive. If I happened across a blog on the internet (an opinion based blog none the less), and it happened to be called iPeaches, what gives me the right to chastize the author based on my personal morality? What gives me the right to stand on a soap box, and decry someone else’s opinion just because the word “peaches” makes me uncomfortable? I would say that I don’t have any right at all. As a matter of fact, I would have to think pretty highly of my own opinion to justify making the effort at all. The entire point that I’m trying to make with any of this is that your efforts (be they the efforts you made to chastize Jeff originally, or the efforts you’ve made to converse with me) would be better spent DOING SOMETHING ELSE, than trying to tell someone they shouldn’t use a word. As for having a “self aggrandizing image” of myself (self-aggrandizing: The act or practice of enhancing or exaggerating one’s own importance, power, or reputation”), well, I’m not the one that found a humorous blog on the web and then proceeded to appoint myself a prosecuting member of “The Morality Police”.
But what would I know. I’m obviously an idiot.
Also, I’m a pro-PC warrior. You might want to work on that there “reading comprehention”.
hahaha.. that was awesome Jeff!
I know, I love to entertain…
Computers are always personal choice! I’m not much of a coding type of person who likes to know how everything works on my computer. I just care that it gets it done and since I work mainly in marketing, the Mac was just what i needed for presentations and graphics. With some of the Macs having to run Rosetta to run certain programs, I can fully understand why it would be a pain to get a mac right now.
This has been the most engaging post I’ve read on this blog! I can’t stop laughing!!
I’m gonna keep my fingers crossed that this post gets Dugg, I’d love to see the legions of Mac fanatics surge in here and say all sorts of ridiculous things. Let the games begin!
Ya keep the diggs coming folks! I want this to be big. I know it can be.
I agree with your article, there really are two very distinct mac community groups, the mac user which I respect because I personally love mac’s , and then those who hurt the community, that you refer to as “iFags” , not much you can do about them though.
anyways,
good article.
http://www.techboggle.com
http://www.topfunnies.com
Haha thanks nicholas,
i respect and appreciate macs.. i wouldnt mind having one just for music and media infact, because of the nifty remote control and all. I’m still able to critically analyze the pros and cons of both sides, and so can you.
Those few iFags are the ones who make Macs look bad.
Mac’s are a total joke. They’re overpriced, especially when only a SINGLE MANUFACTURER sells them. When it comes to HARDWARE SPECS, its basically a PC in sheep’s clothing.
Why do you think Apple uses Intel processors these days? The old IBM processors weren’t up to par and lacked the processing power compared to Intel’s latest offering.
That’s exactly what I was thinking when I heard they were initially switching processors.
Hey Jeff, I’ve got one for you. I think that your choice of computers suck. You should have gotten a SONY, not a TOSHIBA! LOL
it’s the same everywhere. look at the linux community…
I completely agree Jeff, mac is only on top right now by exploiting a few short comings on PC’s in their marketing, thus the large ammount of purely visual users are loving it without needing to know why or how… is this better? not to me.
Jeff,
You encapsulated my feelings about the mac community perfectly. There are perfectly secure Mac users who use macs cause they meet their needs well. But the “iFag” community is almost at a point of overtaking the normal Mac guys. Its like they have an unwritten obligation to lead a propaganda battle against the ‘evil windows world’ and the fact that it is a Windows/PC world frustrates them ever more into acting so irrationally.
There are literally hundreds of blogs out there about apple that have more PC related bashings that actual apple capabilities that its mind boggling. The iPod explosion is partly to blame but its also the company itself. I remember in the 1997 MacWorld keynote when they brought jobs back as they were on the verge of insolvency he said for macs to succeeded windows does not have to lose. Unfortunately now that their sorta successful they’ve completely reverted back to their past philosophy. Quite sad.
I’d like to see a Apple commercial about the Mac that actually touts what they have instead of comparing what the PC does or doesn’t.
You point out a very valuable point, and so does Steven up there.
And you point out how their ads are always a comparison and a criticism of Windows..
They need to change their direction perhaps? And the general attitude of any computer user should maintain objectivce. As I said - it’s a computer, not a shrine or something.
It’s this type of approach to things that start wars. What the hell does it matter if people have different opinions towards things in life? Also I’m sure gay people find your analogy to describe ifags deeply offensive.
Live and let live!
Myekie